Frightened Rabbit / The Antlers
The Horseshoe Tavern
Toronto ON
Wednesday, July 22 2009

Andy Harpoon

24 hours after the first real existential conversation about the relationship since there has been a relationship, and only two hours after the necessary physi-sexual re-acquaintance, I am standing waiting for the third streetcar to pass since the first time I tried to leave my apartment.

I feel that Frightened Rabbit understands this place where I’m standing. This place not fulfilled or fulfilling, not whole, but still not hole. This place where I live, this place where The Midnight Organ Fight is one of my favourite albums of the past year.

The people here are weird. Instead of watching The Antlers, a woman lays her head on a man’s shoulder, facing away to the bar. A fat man touches my arm as he passes. This falsetto reminds me of something past. I figure it out after a suggestion of St. Elmo’s Fire from a friend. I realize that I’m thinking of Shakespeare’s Sister and somehow that’s not bad at all. I enjoy this atmosphere and beer. I want to listen to this loud and alone on my couch in the afternoon with sun or cloud (ANY KIND OF LIGHT!) filtering through sheers.

“When you’re writing a song, how do you know where to say ‘oooooh’?”
“We’re too old, we’re not old at all.”

I hate where we’re standing. Secured good proximity with bad view. So close, but so poled. And I can’t think about anything but my pictures. Too bad about the crowd. People think they’re at the Snow Patrol show. A lot of lame dragged there by more lame. But of course this is the way. The venue is great for me, but so many more people will want to see this once they know.

It’s a soundtrack to my bathroom party! My drunk. My fluorescent or phosphorescent light soundtrack, white tile or linoleum worship of loneliness. Make my next hangover this song. Make my next relationship the opposite of all of this.

Earlier this evening, the awkward de-nude re-dressing soundtracked by Keep Yourself Warm was embarrassingly perfect. Nervous eating coached along like I’m living these songs…

Then Frightened Rabbit finish their evening with it! Keep YOURSELF Warm! How’d that happen? You did it, Rabbit! You feared me into frightened! You’re the soundtrack to the movie in my head: me walking around city streets I don’t know, staring at all the girls I won’t talk to, smoking all the cigarettes I’m hiding from, drinking all the drinks I can’t stay angry with. YOU won’t find love in a hole. My lips are pursed because I’m close to tears out of self-loathing and simultaneous love for you. Thank you.

photos: Aaron Scholl