La Tulipe
March 23, 2008
Montreal
Warren Haas

When I was in fourth grade I got to dress up as Franklin the Turtle for a book fair at my school. It was a full on plush mascot-sized costume and it was quite hot inside once you got to walk around in it. The thing is, the costume gave me a sense of power; I was Franklin the Turtle. I thought whatever I did while wearing that costume translated into something Franklin the Turtle would do, and so I broke character. I started talking to people and reading Franklin the Turtle books out loud for all to hear — essentially I was no longer Franklin the Turtle. I was then just some boisterous fourth grader wearing a Franklin the Turtle costume who was ruining the book fair. It wasn’t long before I was relieved of my turtle duties and escorted back to my classroom by my teacher.

So maybe you can see why I took issue with a guy who was dressed up in an elaborate mascot-esque caribou costume roaming the crowd that had assembled to take in the Caribou of the musical variety at La Tulipe. If this costumed man had just wandered around posing for photos with those dying for what they think in all probability is a hilarious photo of themselves for Internet display, then there wouldn’t have been much of a problem — he would have just been a caribou. However when this caribou man approached the bar to order a drink, he broke character; he was no longer a Caribou fan acting as self-appointed mascot there to enjoy the show, but a guy taking detracting attention from the band’s performance. Though pulsating drums and blinding strobes begged me to watch the pseudo-rave happening on stage, I couldn’t help but try to see if the caribou man was ordering a bottle of Moosehead. I desperately wanted to go up to him and make a joke about moose and deer, something about how his actions were bordering on cannibalism because then we could discuss how clever and original I was.

Instead the caribou man quickly disappeared from sight. I don’t know if he was escorted away for breaking character, but I do know that it was very difficult to stop thinking about what drink he had ordered. I assume caribou don’t drink beer, but they might dance, so this guy should have stuck to dancing. The band probably would’ve appreciated it.